At least two times a day until this crisis is over...this
naked aggression will not stand....but mine will. - Switzerland
Every night I'll masturbate and say, "As I lay me down to
sleep I'll have an "O" for peace to keep, I'll stick 3 in so very deep, for sure
to cum before I sleep" - ciss, Oklahoma City
I actually just gave up self gratification for lent and today
is the first day...but as soon as lent is over I'll do my part to make the world
a better, more peaceful place. - Josh, Massachusetts
I plan to masturbate with my biggest toy every day, while I
pray that my husband comes back safe from over fighting overseas. - Squirrel,
Iowa
It relaxes the mind and spirit to masturbate. It is a time
when one feels totally at peace with oneself. If we can remember that feeling
and then express it even when not masturbating, the world would become a more
peaceful place. - Brian, Gainesville, FL
There are good bushes and bad Bushes. Mine's a good bush. A
very good bush. She needs lots of special, personal attention, and absolutely no
oil at all. I get her engine going with my own renewable energy source. She
doesn't need to overthrow a dictator to demonstrate her power over men. And,
best of all, she hums along just fine without "nukular" power. I'll be spanking
the pony for peace often in 2003. - Joan, Toronto, Canada
God, give me the strength, the agility, the courage, and the
will to go on protesting this way, no matter how hard my hand cramps, no matter
how many tissues I need, no matter how tired and chafed I get, give me the power
to protest on. - Andy, Sydney
By wanking as much as possible, in the dark, I will conserve
energy, thereby reducing our dependence on oil.- Phiggy Pudding, Minnesota
On the webcam with my fiance (750 miles away). He and I will masturbate together, every night until war has ended or we are together again.
Then we will begin to have sex for peace, joining together and hopefully
increasing the power we give out. - Moxy, Philadelphia
I plan to masturbate for peace at least two times a day --
peace through superior firepower. (PS: Your site is awesome! I'm on the other
side of the issue, but you have wit, humor and good taste. I sent your site to
EVERYONE! When the victory cums, I put you in charge.) - Keith, Milbrook, NY
My penis will become an axis of justice. -
Dirk, Texas
I plan to masturbate at least twice daily in
the name of peace... With vibrators, shower massagers, gags, bingo markers,
hairbrush handles, fingers, even a disabled curling iron... I'm willing to
pleasure myself in any way that will bring us closer to peace! And with my lover
in the service... I plan to diligently uphold the masturbatory vigil! - Laurie,
CA
I plan to masturbate with one fist on my tool
and one fist in the air. - Washington, DC
Masturbation Resources
Several web sites offer detailed advice and
information on masturbating alone and with friends:
Let's Masturbate - Masturbation
hints and tips and a masturbation party planner
Masturbation - Hundreds of men
and women share their masturbation stories
Masturbation Horror -
Unfortunate, true tales of how masturbation can go horribly wrong
Erotica for Masturbation
These sites provide plenty of raw material
for your fantasies:
Free Sex Stories - Hundreds of real-life
sex stories
Sex - Sex words defined and
explained
Vigorously, and with clear moral certainty
(as does, no doubt, Dubyah). - Guadalajara, Mexico
I plan to unite myself with thoughts of
peace, tranquility and, of course, my
eager beaver dildo. It's swiveling head
will represent the confusion of our government and the vibrating beaver shall
send sensors of pleasure and happiness out to our world. I will work that
swiveling head 'til it swivels no more and I will pump out all of the aggression
that has built up in our worldly womb. To all, I wish for health and happiness
and peaceful sleeps. - D, New York
I will tell everyone I know about this site
including at my band's shows. And order bumper stickers to hand out at Plea For Peace Meetings. - JoNo,
California
I need to provide a sperm sample for the
clinic to check my sperm count as we are trying for a child. I want peace on
earth for my child, so I will dedicate this sample to him or her. - Haralds,
Latvia
It's a given that I feel good when I rub my
clit; yet at the same time, it's kind of amazing that exerting such a small
amount of force (not to say that I don't like it hard- but in the grand scheme
of things, you know?) can bring about such beautiful waves of pleasure. Little
actions with momentous results are always amazing; yet when the result is
negative, the equation it positively frightening. A person chooses not to think
about going-ons in the world---> bombs fall on innocent children. A girl works
her fingers in the right way against her clit for a bit---> orgasm. Let's all
band together in an attempt to exert the right amount of force in all the right
places to produce those positive orgasmic results-- and not exert any force at
all in the unorgasmic areas. Such as Iraq. Y'all get my drift, right? Now excuse
me while I go spread my legs... - Krys, Boston
I will think about worldwide love and peace
while masturbating and maybe, as I reach my climax, those dreams will come true!
- Poland
I plan to practice the Taoist practice of
self-cultivation and male multiple orgasms to build my sexual/spiritual energy
and self-love. Only after several days of building this energy and having
orgasms without cumming will I allow myself to ejaculate, thus releasing more
intense love and peace on the world. - Michael, Vancouver, BC, Canada
I pledge to touch others by touching myself.
I will rub myself the right way while countries rub each other the wrong way. -
Canada
As I play my computer games I will use both
of my joysticks. - Jack, Seattle
I plan to go jerk myself off to relieve the
anger that our stubborn psycho-ass cowboy of a president puts in me. - Eric,
Butler, PA
Slowly, quickly, with lube, without lube,
left handed and right handed, with my feet on a toilet seat, with a little help
from my friends, in every room in the house, at work, in the shower, in the car,
while watching the Osbournes, after smoking from the bong, when I wake up, when
I go to sleep, in the back alley with a total stranger, while looking in the
mirror, between classes, during lunch, at church alone, at church with the
priest, before dinner, after desert, on the mailbox, in the middle of the
street, on the bus. Oh, yeah. I'll do it often. No such thing as too much
peace!- Idaho
My paci-fists will pound only my own meat
tender. - Mikael, Finland
My penis is a weapon of destruction, and must
be disarmed. I shall pump the bilge out of my hold and thus sink my battleship.
- Dave
Being a person of the far left politically
speaking, as well as being left handed, I plan to masturbate for peace with my
right hand. I do this as a symbolic gesture to make peace with the people of the
political right. - Ray, Cleveland
I'm going to play the song "he's got the
whole world in his hands" - Jamel, San Antonio
I will withdraw my foreskin so my third eye
can see our beautiful peaceful world. But the ungreatful bastard will probably
just puke all over the place! - Cozmoz, Sweden
Rubbing it at home is certainly better than
bombing poor suckers overseas. - Houston
I plan to masturbate every time I see or hear
of any aggression or hint of against Iraq. Or when the Victoria's Secret
commercial comes on. - Garden Grove, California
I pledge to use the clenched fist of
solidarity with my brothers and sisters around the world. Peace - we're cummin'
for ya! - Paul, Glasgow, Scotland
It's Pre-emptive stroking for me. I don't
need war-oil, I manufacture my own. - LauraT, Ohio
I masturbate to free Tibet! - Xhaing,
People's Republic of China
I not only pledge my own peace through masturbation,
I pledge to help my boyfriend with his quest for peace. Every night I will
lay in bed as I am on the phone with him. As the heavy breathing and moans
of our ecstasy capture the moment, we will both know, we do this for the better
good of our fellow man. We are all in this together! - Jami, California
By masturbating or thinking of jerking it
whenever anger builds in me. That way, my negative feelings will carry me to a
world of self-palming, and hopefully I will be classically conditioned so that
anger automatically leads to fantasies! - Simon, Australia
I will masturbate so much that my hands will
no longer be able to be used for any purposes that are harmful to my fellow
human beings.
My purple-helmeted soldier of love is rising
and the only way to save the world is if I beat his head down.
I'll fight war in the shower. I'll fight war
every hour. I'll fight war in the bed. I'll fight war by using my head. I'll
fight for peace before I sleep, till I shall see my semen flee. - Robert,
Springfield
Every morning, I will begin my day by sharing
a special moment with myself, in hopes that my self-love will spread to all
people that I encounter during the day. Spread the love, educate your
friends! - Jess, Oklahoma
Every night, I can't seem to fall asleep. I
think it is because of all of the violence in the world... I do what any good
citizen would do at this point, masturbate. Upon completion, I feel, relaxed,
and I think this feeling comes from the peace I am trying to spread to the
world. Afterwards, i can sleep knowing that I have put a little more peace back
in the world - Georgia
I pledge to begin and end everyday with self
love and reflection. - DP, Texas
I pledge to masturbate for my country. not
for me.. but for the millions of Americans that are suffering by the atrocities committed
by all forms of war. I pledge to masturbate away all my feelings of hatred and
anger, and I pledge to spread this philosophy to the people around me in the
name of peace. Don't shoot that gun, cum is fun! - Dustin, Houston, TX
I masturbate so much that I have tennis
elbow. Tennis elbow for peace. - Daniella, Quebec
I will gather every nationality of male
friends for a circle jerk. We will get naked and lie on our our backs in a
circle on the lawns of parliment house. In the eyes of our erect penises will be
the tooth pick flag of our nation of origin. while singing "Imagine"
We will lovingly stroke our flag poles until we fire our flags in a united
crescendo of peace. - Peter, Australia
My hand went to war with my little soldier.
They were in the grip of battle when it was realized that my little soldier had
cum in peace. If only it were all so easy. - California
After years of of destroying the rain forest
by consuming 1000s of tissues, I'm glad that it will all come to some good. -
Dan, Montreal, Quebec
I plan to spank it after every meal until
this conflict is resolved... and I hope it's done soon, people seem frown on
masturbation in restaurants. - Steve, Colorado
With the ongoing threat of war, conflict, and
terrorism, I don't really even have time enough to write this. I have much
work to do for peace. - Tampa, FL
Loving yourself is something that all young
women should do. Masturbation should not be shied away by women as it helps one
discover herself and become more confident in this patriarchal society. I myself
have become quite proficient at it and hope the benefits that I gain from
masturbation can help the peace movement. I just want Mr. Hussein and Mr. Bush
to know that there is one cute college girl thinking about them in a peaceful
manner while she touches herself and that should stop there needless bickering.
- Ashley
Frequently. The only violent explosions
today's world should be orgasmic! - Guy, Austin, Tx
I intend to focus my thoughts on peace and
happiness, and if those thoughts tend to wander toward our soldiers, instead of
picturing them trudging off to war, I will picture them loving one another
tenderly, and that will feed my own desire for masturbation. - Andrew,
Washington, DC
Five times every day, and at least once every
night, until war is over. I will spill the juices of life until the bombs have
silenced. Never will the scream of self-love end until the scream of suffering
does. To this, I pledge. - Todd, Baltimore, MD
Each time I masturbate, it leaves me so
peaceful. I wish that content, spent feeling on the entire world. - Paul, Los
Angeles
I plan to masturbate for peace in my very own
living room. Peace starts at home. - Michelle, Florida
I've always masturbated for myself.
Now, I'm finally doing something for someone else. And it feels good.
The masturbating feels good too, but mostly the peace feels good. - Jacob, Los
Angeles
I plan to masturbate with plenty of lube to
symbolize world problems becoming less painful and running smoother, and I will
watch porn featuring beautiful people to remind me of all the beautiful things
that can happen when we all just get along. - Sera, Tennessee
I will be having it for peace. My country is fraught
with much war and no peace and war must end for my country to see peace. - isme,
Sri Lanka
I will masturbate as many times a day and
night as possible to release the tensions and anxieties that cause anger and
disturbances within my own soul. Only in the peaceful afterglow of
post-orgasmic relief can I find the serenity to send positive thoughts of peace
to the universe. I will help anyone else masturbate anytime, anywhere --
so they can enjoy that rapturous bliss too -- and, in doing so, find inner peace
that will transcend all negativity. - Johnny, Fresno, CA
I'm organizing a wank-in. We shall all
sit down, and together, we shall over-cum. - Tarot 1
I plan to relax, think of happy times,
forgive my enemies and masturbate away my sorrows. - TheSeffolator, Norway
I intend to hide under my bed with my porno
stash and stash of prossys and jack my life away!! - Jeff, Jail
I will stand naked on a cliff face and
masturbate out in to the ocean and sky, drawing us all a little closer to peace
as I climax in joy. - Australia
I plan to masturbate for the bettering of the
world. In my masturbation, I will release all pent up feelings towards
hate and evil. By doing this I can safely release all aggression in a way
that harms no one other than the sperm I myself create. - Greg, USA
I vow to whack off 3 times a day until I die!
I plan to do it peacefully, that is unless I get really into it. In that case,
look out! - Mike, Colorado
Tonight I plan on crawling into bed, removing
my undies and touching myself until I am so weak I cannot move my hand away.
I will sleep ever so soundly and tomorrow I will be so rested and refreshed that
I will smile all day long. The smiling will become contagious and the
world will be a better place all because I touch myself. Jana, Erie, PA
Given that every time you masturbate god
kills a kitten, I am ethically torn as to whether this is truly a good thing.
But if the price of human peace means the destruction of kitten-kind, you can
count on me to shuck more corn than a Nebraskan in November. - London
I plan to masturbate in front of the mirror
so as to emotionally and physically experience the prayer of peace and love by
seeing the blissful expression on my own face and witness the convulsions of
pleasure passing through my body as a result. - Juneau, Alaska
I will spread my legs wide and place the palm
of my hand over my clitoris. Then I'll rub and rub all the hurts of the
world away. The metal of my clitoris piercing will represent the hard
truth of war, the soft folds of my labia the gentle truth of peace. - ishyomah,
UK
For 30 years that I've been sending love to
people through my fingers. I think at least one war has ended because of me and
some friends of mine, sending our love from our bathrooms. Now we will
concentrate even more. 5 to one baby, one to five... - L_H, Italy
I will not only wank daily for peace but,
also, omit the use of battery-operated appliances in an effort to combat the
mindless waste of non-renewable energy sources and save the world from yet more
needless abuse. - dyskordia23, Canterbury, UK
I may not have a lot of faith in my leaders,
but I'm pulling for them. - Anonymous
I have a dream. I dream that one day, all
young men and women can masturbate without odd stares from strangers. That one
day, we can all just close our eyes and have a great orgasm. That one day, we
can stop, and just wank against war.
I have a dream. I dream that one day, we can all just masturbate, not just with
privacy or for pleasure, but for peace. - Marc, Sydney, Australia
I plan to masturbate everyday when I get home
from school, and again every night before I go to bed. - Mandy, Las Vegas
I am planning to organize am massive self
love rally, we will march through every major city in Britain showing to the
world how good self love can be. - Ross, Glasgow
My man to hand relationship will produce the
glue that holds the world together. - Peter, Long Island
When confronted with a situation where
tempers are on the rise and sound judgment has been cast to the wayside, I shall
strongly recommend that all parties just stop, take a deep breath, whack one
off, then re-approach the problem from the perspective of someone who does NOT
require sexual release. - Fragmeyer
Like the flag of my country, I plan to raise
my pole every day at sunrise in the name of peace. No one can pleasure me
like I can pleasure me. - Mark, California
Together with as many people as possible, and
by doing that, keeping them from angry thoughts. Peace-calculations and simultaneous-ejaculations
from Sweden. - Jonas
With flowers in my hair. - Barry, London
I do solemnly swear to curtail my diabolical
and megalomaniacal fantasies while i "pud wrestle". I do hereby
and henceforth formally promise to only envision peaceful and happy thoughts
while I vigorously masturbate at a furious pace. I think it's about time to lend
a helping and or two, and do my part for the peace effort. - Chanz, Ohio
Every night in my bedroom before I get asleep
I'll love myself and pray for peace. - srta_lee, Argentina
I will send positive vibrations throughout my
body and into the universe. - Toronto, Canada
Every stiffened sheet will flutter like peace
flags on my washing line. - John
I'm going to pound my trout everyday at least
four times a day, for a year, while my girl watches. It's very comforting to her
to watch me achieve peace with myself. - Terrence, Massachusetts
I will use my Tantric techniques so that I
divert my negative energy within, converting it into pure orgasm. if everyone
knew how to do this then there would be no war. - AL, UK
For the sake of mankind, let every shower be
one of cleansing and renewal, let peace wash over my body. - RaeVynn, Boise,
Idaho
I'll do the deed.... with that special
someone in mind. You know who you are. But I think it would be so
much more fun to work together for world peace! ;-) - LBM, Texas
I plan to masturbate in as many outdoor
locations as possible. It's important to lead by example -spreading to concept
and joy of self-love to all humanity -for the good of the world. - Sara,
Portland, Oregon
In a slow, sensual way.....building up to a
stunning but peaceful orgasm! - L, UK
Very carefully, fully mindful of the delicate
situation in hand and the need for diplomatic negotiations between contested
regions as well as maintaining the balance between communication and aggression. -
Michelle, Seattle, WA
Just like I vote - early and often. -
Bluerabie, USA
For every sperm that crusts and flakes on my
abdomen, there is someone whose life has been torn apart by the ravages of war.
There are roughly 800,000,00 rays of hope in ever glob I squirt. I will
use my splunk as a healing salve for the world. - Ryon, Baltimore, Maryland
My vibrator will buzz for freedom, my fingers
move for peace! - Sydney, Australia
I will masturbate using only non
animal-tested lubricants. - Dave, Rhode Island
Oh, I intend to do it slowly and
deliberately, for such a process cannot be rushed; it must be fostered, groomed,
rough spots negotiated in the name of peace. I pledge to do it again and again
until all war stops. - Barina, Atlanta
I will masturbate at least three times a day.
If I miss a session, I will masturbate twice for the session that was missed. -
Wisconsin
I've been masturbating regularly since my
early teens, and have, since then, always been an advocate for peace. It's
only natural that my peaceful nature rubs off a bit on my friends and
acquaintances (usually when we shake hands). So, I'll continue to do my
part to stop the war. - Indiana
I will put on my olive dress, stand on the
central square of my hometown (big naval base) with a placard saying "I cum
in peace" in my left hand and my XXX in my right hand. - Henrik, Sweden
I will wipe away one bad thought per stroke.
- Mike, Soo, Ontario
I plan to masturbate for peace in the comfort
of my own home. And maybe on the public toilet at my workplace. - Trollhättan,
Sweden
I plan to lay in bed and masturbate for peace I plan to make myself moan so loud
that I wake up my roommates and let them hear the call for peace. - Michelle,
Iowa City
When the soldiers fire off their last bullet,
I will fire off my last load. - Colorado
I will repeatedly bring myself to the brink
of climax then take deep belly-breaths to balk the climax and internalize the
sensations. After hours of this (lotion is a wonderful thing), I will let
myself go and try my best to hit the ceiling. chad, Austin, Texas
My plane is too scream "WORLD
PEACE" every time I cum and in that way let the world know that I fight for
love and peace. - Eva, Sweden
I plan on masturbating every chance I
get...which is every time my roomie is out for more than 30 minutes. I
intend to take my pledge very seriously, and will masturbate religiously while
thinking of my very peaceful boyfriend who lives oh so far away. - Lizzie,
Missoula, Montana
I plan to masturbate furiously and
frequently. I shall masturbate with an alacrity and creativity heretofore
thought impossible. With God's help, I plan to masturbate while bathing,
attending classes, preparing food, and yes, even while playing catch with
puppies. My ejaculate shall shine under blacklights as a beacon of peace and
self-love. I shall proudly go forth into the world, with scented candles,
lubricants, Barry White CDs, and an insatiable appetite for the
five-knuckle-shuffle. - Deven, New Jersey
With all my fancy toys and yummy fantasies of
engaging in delicious acts with lovely people from all around our beautiful
world. Celebrate diversity, masturbate for peace! - Lucy, Oregon
I plan on focusing on peace everyday that I
masturbate, on several occasions daily. - Manny, Lahore, Pakistan
In my living room, unlit except for several
scented candles, I plan to focus on peace and good energies while working up my
sexual energy. I'll try to hold off as long as possible in order to keep
those positives vibes going. I pledge my ejaculation, and the contentment
it brings, to the cause of peace. - Jim, Houston, Texas
I'm reminded of the old expression, "I
wouldn't give two tugs of a dead dog's cock for..." Well, I won't
touch a dead dog, much less his stiffie, but I'll give my own a couple of tugs
to further a general sense of well-being in the world. I plan to envision
a circle jerk spanning the circumference of the world, possibly along the
equator (although the logistics of this may prove challenging, especially in the
ocean where both hands may be needed for swimming). I intend to give the
matter much thought and time and energy, throughout the day, every day, maybe
all day on the weekends. - Dave, Kansas City
I plan to take my time, going long and slowly
so that I am being sufficiently selfless in my masturbation while I let my pleasant
thoughts of love and peace drift out into the human collective subconscious and
hopefully affect everyone just a little. - R'yal, Canada
I am going to whack it with a thumb up my ass
til the cows come home! GO EAGLES! - Biloxi, Mississippi [finally, someone from
Mississippi, and we've covered all 50 states]
I commit the use of my wasted sperm to the
fight of tyranny and oppression all over the world. I will spread the love
that only a sexually satisfied person can. The love of freedom.
The love of diversity. The love of peace. The love of getting off. -
Tim, Michigan
I plan on doing my best to masturbate
everyday, since my boyfriend is incapable of giving me the amount of pleasure
that I deserve. I hope that my contribution to the cause can help bring some
peace to this war-torn world. - Giggles, Newark, DE
I will read for 15 minutes every night to
relax myself into a wonderful fantasy world that lies within me where I can most
easily wander into my own world of sexual self indulgence. XOXO and wet
dreams. - Jinan, Shandong Province, China
When I'm taking a shower, I'm so happy about
the fact that I have clean water, that I turn the water pressure to it's
fullest, and there I go. There are people who can't do this because of
war. - Jaana, Helsinki, Finland
Well, I masturbate alot anyway. So now
I have an excuse for my mom next time she yells at me. I'll tell her,
"Mom, I'd rather be blind from masturbation, than blind from the hatred and
destruction of war." - Giacomo, New York
I plan on blowing many loads, so we can all
live peacefully in our humble abodes. My cock will be rock hard, so we don't
have fighting in our back yard! - Wildcat, Pennsylvania
Using the bathwater, letting the love of this
peace water flow back through the sewer system to all in my
community.
I plan to masturbate with extreme
determination and devotion to my planet. I will not stop until there is
world peace! - Amanda, Indiana
I will use not just one hand but alternate
hands so I can give all I can to the cause. - Sarah, California
Well, I will probably get some help from my
friends in the military. But by myself, I will use my assault rifle in a way
never thought of by Sarge. - Klosse, the military
Frequently and passionately. Occasionally with
others or toys, or if I'm really lucky, someone's
tongue (ok, ok, that may not qualify as masturbation, but you can't deny
that it's love!). - Clara, USA
I promise to masturbate every time I get mad.
No matter where I am or when. It is my duty to the world to do this. -
Amanda, Boro
I plan to masturbate hard until my hands are
red like fire, then more sweetly like a monkey finding a banana. And I will do
all these things for the cause of peace! - Europe
I will whack for Truth. I will whack
for justice. I will whack for peace. I will whack for the American
way. I will not stop whacking until the whole world feels the love and joy
that I feel for myself. So rest assured world, you have all of my whacking
energy. The Southeast of the United States is covered. - South Carolina
Let's make love (foder) not war, fire guns (pichas)
that won't hurt, all in the name of peace! I must con.. ti.. nue on mastur..
bating (esgalhar ao pessegueiro, jogar ao pau com os ursos), for i have started
with one purpose and will not stop until it is a.. a.. complished!!
AAHHHHHHHH..(já me vim!) - Xiko, Portugal
The excess of our self-love will overflow and
inundate the world with a flood
of juicy peace. - Porkchop
I plan to
masturbate while watching pornography
that is not demeaning to women, and to focus on joy and love, sharing my
experiences with those whom I love around me. - Paul, Melbourne, Australia
Every night before I go to bed and every
morning before I leave my bed. - Kimmy, Orlando, Florida
Well, I actually haven't masturbated in the
three weeks since I've gotten to school, and I don't really intend to until I
either find a pretty lady or get home to my room. However, when I do get
home to my room, you can be sure I'll be doing my part to give some love
back. In the meantime, I'm really frustrated. - Oberlin College, Oberlin,
Ohio
I will empty my sack twice a day as a
reminder of the emptiness caused by war. Mario, Trinidad
I always masturbated for selfish reasons. Now
is my chance to give back to the world! - Jim, New York
No more will I resort to "spanking
the monkey". From this day forward I shall "tenderly caress
the monkey" and think of peace... well peace and sex... but not monkeys and
sex.... maybe monkeys and peace, but NOT monkeys and sex. - John, Toronto,
Canada
As a final act of resistance, I will embrace
that moment of endorphin-rush nothing. Xenia, Utah
Frequently, because I'm fervent about peace.
- Di, Melbourne, Australia
Everyday, one cum shot to reduce gun shots. -
France
I'll rattle my saber until world leaders stop
rattling theirs. - Robert, London
I will masturbate with skill,
courage & years of practice. - CJ, Australia
I would like to express my passion for peace
by organizing a group
masturbation session at work. There will be a big group of us as we are all
avid wankers. - Peter, Surrey, UK
I am gonna get into bed in tight boxer
briefs, rub my balls until my cock is rock hard,
shut my eyes, and envision all of the hatred going on in the world. Then and
only then, I will blow a huge fucking load for peace. A load so big, it will end
all evil in the universe. - Todd, Los Angeles
As time waxes on, it becomes increasingly
difficult to take a stand for what's right amidst the constant turmoil and
uncertainty. There has never been a better time, however, to take a stroke for
love and stick your balls out there for peace. Literally. - Acacia, Hawaii
(submission from state #47, only three left!)
This is a lovely idea! Though masturbation
alone won't bring about peace. We need to sit everyone down and give them
a puppy and some cupcakes. Masturbation, puppies and cupcakes!
(Though not necessarily at the same time.) Now we're talkin' peace! - Meghan,
New York
I plan to continue my strenuous masturbation
schedule, keeping in mind all that is great about humanity, the dignity of our
nation, and the warm, soft, serenity that can only be the result of a great
orgasm or a global peace. - Adam, Chicago, Illinois
I plan to look at porn while my wife is
asleep a give it a good pull! - Seth, Hoboken, New Jersey
Fuck violence. Fuck
Bush. Fuck Saddam. Fuck
nuclear warfare. Fuck chemical weapons. Fuck armies. Fuck the military. Fuck
genocide. Fuck bombs. Fuck shells. Fuck bullets. Fuck guns. Fuck war. Fuck my
right hand. - Phil, Peterborough, UK
Continually, and because it's for peace, I'll
only masturbate to tasteful
porn, or else get tasteful women to do it for me. -
UK
With my hands, both right and left, to show
the need for bi-partisan support for peace. - Murfreesboro, Tennessee
By flicking my
bean, I hope to stop anyone
that's mean. - Andrea, Waterloo, Canada
From now on I will masturbate four times each
day with the vibrator on HIGH. By doubling my personal consumption of batteries,
there will be fewer available to power radios, and without voice communication,
soldiers will be unable to mount attacks. On the weekends, I will buy many, many
extra batteries and invite all my friends over to masturbate in a joint peace
effort. Secretly, I will invite their husbands and boyfriends to watch us on a
TV set up in the garage (and do what any guy would do in that circumstance).
I plan to masturbate for peace furiously at
first, like a pilled up monkey in a banana factory, then more slowly as my hand
starts to suffer from friction
burns. Burns symbolic of the heat of battle, the
smoke rising from my red raw cockage like the smoke drifting from a bombed
village somewhere in the afghani mountains possibly. As the stark symbolism of
my tracer fire arcs over my shoulder I close my eyes and like a soldier caught
in crossfire tumble into sleep. War is hell... Robin, London
By touching myself, I touch others in peace.
I think the men in war should ware silk panties and touch themselves. We would
have less war. - Kansas City, Missouri
I pledge to masturbate with dignity and
compassion with my head held high, in the palm of my hand, as befits any true
Englishman. - Stanley, England
I'll be watching porn in the name of all
things sacred and kind, whilst polishing my peaceful pearl. - Kerry, Raleigh,
North Carolina
Everyday until I find some one to help me,
then twice a day. - Alexander, Indiana
I plan on masturbating as much as I can for
as long as I can. Even if it means cutting off my boyfriend so that I can masturbate
more. - Jen, Virginia
With my left hand on my heart. And my right
hand in my pants. - Pennsylvania
I'm not going to "beat the meat",
but instead will touch it with love, thinking about how we need to touch, and
not beat, others. - Mike, Pennsylvania
I will masturbate joyfully, and with
awareness. I hope that others will direct their energy away from war and towards
self-love. - Jessie, Louisiana
Since I always laugh when I cum, and laughing
is not possible when there's hate around, I plan to masturbate slowly at least
once a day, so when I cum the peace, pleasure and laughter will make this world
just a little bit better. - Alex, Madrid, Spain
Every orgasm I have will flutter over and
fall like a big warm blanket over a warmonger's hateful, internal fire and
extinguish it one at a time (this could take me a while... goodie). - Beverly,
Los Angeles
I pledge that every time I have bad thoughts
about Al-Qaeda or Iraq, I will instead masturbate and think of my penis as a
peace scepter, releasing a magical "peace potion". - Sammy, Kansas
I will masturbate with a heart full of love,
and a mind full of naked women. - John, Arizona
I plan to hump a chair in the face of
oppression. - Robyn, Lakewood, Ohio
I will masturbate for peace by using as many
dull instruments as possible. Sharp implements bring thoughts of weaponry, death
and slicing and dicing. I do not wish to julienne my genitals. I will go the
dong, the vibe, the zucchini and the bok choy. - Katt, Melbourne, Australia
My girlfriend and I will team up to send
double the energy - Cape Coral, Florida
I never knew how a simple tug could do so
much. I am now planning on masturbating twice daily in this time of need. When
we work for peace, we need to think of the children. Except when we're
masturbating, cause that's just gross. - Kirby, Canada
I will masturbate everyday for peace and
tranquility in our beautiful corner of the world
- Jasmine, Lebanon
With a butternut squash. My violation
of the fruit will signify the violation of the world by war. - Ian, Canada
Every night under my covers I will tinker my
numlock. - Kristen, Toronto
By my masturbating every morning I'll be
sending out my positive thoughts not only to the person I'm thinking about but
to the "stream of positive thoughts" (as I like to call it). My
thoughts will join those of others so this "stream" can circle the
globe, spreading positive thoughts to everyone in the world. Masturbation is
totally natural and so is happiness. I wish peace to everyone who masturbates. -
Anonymous
I will masturbate gently, slowly, delaying so
I can dwell longer on thoughts of love and peace. I may enlist a few
friends to join me. We all need to unite and take things into our own
hands! - Keese, North Carolina
Whenever I get angry I will slowly count to
ten...and then masturbate. - Grey, Germany
I will masturbate so much, that my arm will
be so tired, that it just is absolutely impossible to wield a weapon with it. -
Niko, Finland
I will masturbate by visualizing the
systematic efficient destruction of the Iraqi regime carried out by a UN
coalition of forces, spearheaded by the technological superiority of the US
military, which, when completed, will result in the greatest peace the middle
east has ever known. What a turn-on! - Washington
I value peace a lot. We citizens of Puerto
Rico need peace as much as every other citizen of other parts of the globe,
specially now that the US Navy is renewing their naval practices on our island
of Vieques against our most basic human rights. Therefore, I plan to use a
tropical banana, native banana, in cohesion with my female regions, in order to
masturbate for peace! - Puerto Rico
I'll just love myself and let all my hate
flow out of my penis. My dick and my bush are true pacifists, and I'm sure
they're not the only ones. - Sabbut, Spain
Your site gets a hearty two fingers
down! A very nice sort of ongoing mass ritual which I'll be sure to
participate in, me and my vibrator from Walmart. - California
I plan to masturbate myself as well as those
around me in order to make this world a better place! - Colleen, Cincinnati,
Ohio
Our entire Discordian Cabal has pledged to
masturbate for peace as often as possible, everywhere. We will do this
alone, if necessary, but are recruiting "helpers" to assist us in our
endeavors. We believe the love-force we can generate with a properly timed
simultaneous orgasmic response is, just barely, capable of rendering flaccid
every missile on the Earth, and making every missile silo weep and quiver with
joy. - Barry, Oregon
In peace! - Indonesia
Whenever I get upset, instead of getting
violent and aggressive, I will just masturbate and allow those pent up
frustrations to flow out with my orgasm. - Toni, Arkansas
Preferably in a group environment where we
can spread the love as we cum in peace. - Bernie, Cape town, South Africa
I will create an organization among all my
friends to get together every now and then to have mutual masturbation sessions
for the cause of peace. - Lauralie, Texas
If you've studied Crowleyan Magick, you know
that nothing speeds a spell on its way like a good thumping orgasm. I shall
batter my beaver not only for peace but for understanding between the sexes, the
survival of the ecosphere and the cancellation of the jerry Springer show.
George and Saddam will not know what kind of etheric bolt hit their brains when
I fire up the old Hitachi.
I will masturbate as often as possible, with
or without a friend around, in any position I deem worthy of such an exalted
purpose, with KY and porn. - Florence, Alabama
After taking part in marches, rallies and
other actions against the war, and organizing for peace and justice - I'll go
home and jack off (jill off) for peace! Just strokin' the clit and havin' some
fun. I notice all the posters here are talking about cocks not clits, and
lest anyone think that we women don't masturbate too, I'm adding my voice.
Jack off for justice! Jill off for justice! Pleasure for peace! - Jill-off
woman, Oakland, California
When I become angry or frustrated, i will
think about my new purple vibrator and how it makes me feel, and I'll strive to
help others feel that same feeling.
I will hold a dove in one hand and my tool in
the other! - California
I plan, that when my period is over, I shall
masturbate, using my vibrator for peace for personal and worldly good, and good
alone. - Katie, Troy, Michigan
I believe that we must show mutual love for
each other, and in that light, what better way to show this love than through
mutual masturbation? Grab someone (or a group) who you would like to share the
enlightenment of peace with, and practice mutual masturbation. - Sibel, Texas
I will use deep spiritual reflection, long
periods of self discipline, meditation on the worries of the world, and half a
bottle of body wash. - Poway, California
I will masturbate for peace, every time I get
angry at something. If I masturbate, everything will all be OK in just a
minute or two, and whatever I was angry at will just seem like nothing, if I am
still angry, I will just masturbate again and again until I am happy!!!
Why drop a bomb when you can bust a nut??!?!! - Joe, Rhode Island
For peace, I will explore the inner depths of
my own fruit, and be thankful that I live in a country that allows me to
experience the best possible freedom of all, masturbation! - Lauren
I am going to masturbate in my dorm room
every night. Every night I shall cover a picture of something that depicts
hate with a white film of peace. This is my mission, this is my calling,
this is my duty. - Jeff, Michigan
When I am masturbating for peace, I can
almost feel myself touch all of the people I am saving. Just imagining all
of their smiling faces makes me wish I could masturbate 10 times a day. - Joe,
Ohio
Often and with vigor. Gonna fill a jar
for peace. - St. Louis Park, Minnesota
I will stroke my cock nearly daily, without
any additional materials, only the thoughts of peace and love to guide me
through. - San Francisco
Harken to me, my fellow wankers, spankers,
filla-busters, dolphin floggers and mouse double-clickers... shank the crank
with peace in mind! Gather all thoughts of rage and hate and smother them in the
pearly primordial goo of your love for peace. Yoink your chain while
singing songs of harmony, or assist someone in the mutual chaffing of the
willy-wonker. Be it inside, outside or under the open skies, masturbation
helps our following generations! Roo for peace!! - Tualmasok, Seattle
Once a day, every day, maybe even twice a
day, I will stop from my daily activities to reflect on the power of love and
how far the human race has gotten because of love. During this time, I
will look at pictures and video clips that show images of beauty and I will
reflect upon how much pleasure looking at these things give me. Then I'll
go out and tell my friends, and their friends, and their girlfriends, and maybe,
just maybe, we can all celebrate the peace and love of this world in one big
happy, orgiastic mass without ruining the carpets or upholstery. - San Jose
I will masturbate constantly, frequently,
alone and with others, soft, hard, fast, slow, with or without lube, in public
and private. - Greg, Colorado
I will touch myself with love everyday, all
the while envisioning a world that is bathed in the warm afterglow of orgasm.
Touch and love and pleasure, ebbing and flowing, overwhelming the world with
satisfaction and peace. And then sleep. - Girl of the world, Oregon
I plan to use my personal time of self-love
to curb my natural tendencies towards conflict, violence and hatred.
Through the relief of masturbation, it becomes easy to be a peaceful, loving
human being. - Valthonis, Hartford, Connecticut
I will show love to myself and the world at
least 4 times daily. To smooth the peace-making process, a lotion will also be
used. - Omaha, Nebraska
Every time I feel the need to make a fist I
will do so not in anger but in love, and I will make that fist around my meat
and then yank out the frustration until the whole world looks a little brighter.
- Brian, Pennsylvania
I shall masturbate with lots of Vaseline and
aim for targets when I ejaculate. When I get really good, I'll host the world's
annual jizz target competition. I'll beat everyone with my remarkable sausage
aim skills, and donate my prize to your organization. - Serpent, USA
I pledge to masturbate with an open heart, an
open mind, and an open Playboy.
I plan on playing with my "Peace
Stick" until my eyes squint up and I have a hard time breathing
slowly. Then, when I feel the best, I will scream "Peace is worth all
this effort!" - Todd
I promise to masturbate myself at least five
times every day. I promise to be a surrogate hand for those who are unable to
masturbate themselves because of physical disability. - Chicago
I plan to use the
around-the-back-and-through-the-legs method - the best method for world peace. -
Chachi, Seattle, Washington
I can promise that my hand will not leave my
rod until every gun has been put down. - Pete, Pennsylvania
I plan to masturbate while singing "Give
Peace a Chance". - Minnesota
Whenever I sit down to watch CNN for my daily
dose of anger, fear, hatred, and bigotry which seem ever-present in the world, I
will cleanse my spirit, my soul, and my pipes with a white-hot jet of love from
deep within. - Tony, Montana
As I watch my penis of peace fire a 24 gun
salute to the sky, I'll imagine the dove white semen bathing the leaders of the
world in a subduing treatment of pleasure, love, and eternal peace. - Nat,
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
When I reach orgasm, I feel that my mind is
expanded for a moment, as if I was on a psychedelic drug for a moment. I feel
that I am tapping into my unconscious mind. I will think about world peace at
the moment of climax. - Virginia
My hands alone can control the fate of
millions. My sperm will act as martyrs of this cause...each of them going to an
early Kleenex (paper towel, sock, curtain, cat tail, etc.) grave so that others
may live on. Theirs is the greatest sacrifice of all. - Bismark, Massachusetts
I plan to masturbate as frequently as
possible, so that I will use my hands for something good, instead of something
evil. - Kali, USA
I will masturbate around the globe, showing
people that firing off your penis is a lot better than firing off your gun. -
Houston, Texas
Thrice a week for world peace! - John,
Fremont, California
I will fire salvos of white light into the
night sky, so that the world can see my explosions of love, hope, peace and
unity and draw from it the truth - that hate, anger, violence and aggression
will only lead to our own destruction. Let's take the situation in hand, people.
- James, Oxford, UK
I will masturbate in public, on the side of
Nelson's column, and will not stop until the authorities try to remove me. I
will sing "give peace a chance" through a loudhailer (megaphone)
during my act of public onanism. - Svenno, London
I will masturbate while reading Ghandi and
other enlightened peace-loving authors, so that my dick will be conditioned only
to react to peaceful people and thoughts. In that way my children will
genetically be peaceful persons. I will masturbate with my girlfriends too in
order to give them the same positive influence. I'll fill the whole world with
children of peace, so that the Age Of Peace and Masturbation can begin. -
Rody, France
I masturbate every day already, so I might as
well do it for peace. It seems like a good cause, and it will give my life
purpose. - Chicago
I will use my white
vibrator to symbolise
peace. Like the white dove of peace, when I release it, I will know freedom and
joy and love. If every man who is contemplating an act of war stayed home
instead, and pictured me masturbating, and joined in masturbating themselves as
an act of unity, then no one would go out and start a war. There would be peace
and happiness throughout the world. Think about it people...the future of world
peace IS IN YOUR HANDS!!!!! - Miss Lily, Australia
I will masturbate while I'm reading the
newspaper; the more bad news I read, the harder I will masturbate, hoping this
will contribute to peace. - Jeremy, UK
With so much talk of war around at the
moment, I pledge to spend at least one hour a day masturbating for peace and,
when I am about to climax, I shall repeat the words "peace and love"
until I've finished ejaculating. This surely must be more powerful than mere
prayer! - Jack, UK
I masturbate while driving to end road rage.
Commute hour could be more enjoyable if everyone masturbated instead of holding
down a horn and letting frustrations arise. - Jeffrey, Alabama
I will masturbate to relieve stress. If I am
unstressed I have no desire to do anyone any harm. I plan on spending a lot of
time alone in the john at work. - Paul, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Masturbating is my way to let out aggressions.
When you experience the self-releasing act of masturbation, all negative
thoughts are gone and you just want to love the world like you just loved
yourself. Therefore I masturbate to stop violence and promote peace. - Joonas,
Finland
I vow to spend quality time with myself every
day until Weapons of Mass Destruction are consigned to the scrapheap of history.
- London, England
Well I plan to masturbate for peace tomorrow.
I'm going to get my lube and lube myself up, put on my cock ring while thinking
of a better more productive and peaceful world to live in. - Mark, Boston,
Massachusetts
Everyone calls me a wanker, but until now I
had no idea they were actually paying me a compliment. In future I will dedicate
my life to peace through masturbation, and proudly acknowledge this fact at all
times. Let it be known across the Kingdom that I will play with my willy all
day. - Steve, London, England
I will masturbate every day - twice. Danail,
Bulgaria
When others waste their energy arguing, I
will just take off my pants and masturbate for peace! - Stefanie, Danville
It's just common sense. Masturbating makes me
and my boyfriend happy, so therefore, in our small way, by masturbating we are
making peace. - Meghann, Findlay
I plan to masturbate at least four times
during the week and a few times on the weekend, plus I will allow anyone to join
in who wants to; "the more the merrier". This is my pledge. -
Anonymous, Texas
I plan to masturbate knowing that what I am
doing is promoting love and that love can do nothing but help people. - Grand
Rapids, Michigan
It's important to not only self-love, but to
turn this love outward for the regeneration of the world. When I self-cultivate,
I picture with all my energy Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush, trying to send
my love to them, trying to awaken that buried love in them. Shalom. - Brandon,
Santa Cruz, California
I will be at home with some friends who are
into mutual masturbation, males and females together in the same room
masturbating for peace. - Wayne, Ontario, Canada
I am going to get myself off until there is
world peace. - Jacob, Rushville, Indiana
